I couldn't have said it better!
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO TURN ON THE TV ONE DAY AND HEAR OUR PRESIDENT, ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans: As you know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime and the insurgents is over. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for the removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be completed within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. List one is short.The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains all of the countries not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the cost of the entire Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France or, how about Germany?
In the future, together with the Senate and the Congress of the United States of America, I will work to redirect these monies towards solving the vexing social problems we still have here at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, fellas. Work out a peace deal now. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing all UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this issue. You have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are now very likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. Since we will now have some extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the USA is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway.
It's time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. We will also continue to do business with you. To the nations on List 2, another final thought. Take a hike.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
My Fellow Americans: As you know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime and the insurgents is over. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for the removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be completed within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. List one is short.The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains all of the countries not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the cost of the entire Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France or, how about Germany?
In the future, together with the Senate and the Congress of the United States of America, I will work to redirect these monies towards solving the vexing social problems we still have here at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, fellas. Work out a peace deal now. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing all UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this issue. You have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are now very likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. Since we will now have some extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the USA is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway.
It's time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. We will also continue to do business with you. To the nations on List 2, another final thought. Take a hike.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
posted by Wench` at 1:44 PM
1 Comments:
Ethne, I recieved that via an e-mail - from a republican friend no less! LOL. And it's always good to have differing views with people, as long as it doesnt get ugly *grin*
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