Mothers
What is it about our mom's that make us love them and at the same time dislike them?
This probably has more to do with women than men. Men seem to get past a certain age and then love their mom's for ever. But women, we seem to always want to prove something to our moms. But I think my brothers both know they could never live close to our mom, that's why they let me do it. They check in with me now and then to see how she's "really" doing, but they never visit. (Course one of my brothers I would just prefer him not to visit anyway.)
I love my mom, with out her I don't know where I would be today. After 19 years of being a stay at home mom (wanting to do everything differently than how my mother did it.) and my marriage falling apart, she gave me a home so I could go back to school, and then get a good job... still waiting on that good job.
But it's been a rocky road. Having to learn to live with her all over again - and as my late father could attest - she isn't exactly the easiest person on earth to live with. However - she would give you the shirt off her back to help you. So that makes it doubly hard to say anything in defense of yourself when she gets into one of her moods.
She has a tongue sharper than a knife. And she never appologizes - ever. She'll buy you dinner as her way of saying sorry. I and my children have pointed out many times how much cheaper it would be if she would just learn how to say "i'm sorry", but she doesnt think she buys her appologies.
I've learned to bite my tongue and let her run her course, she'll get over her mood in a day or four and all will be well for a few months again. It's hard to live up to her standards. She was a woman who was married 3 times, and the first 2 times neither man could live up to those standards... 1st one (my bio father) couldn't keep his pants zipped up, so after she had her 3 children she kicked his cheating ass out. She worked for the governement, kept us fed and tucked us in at night. Father number 2 turned out to be a closet alchoholic who drank away all of her savings, all of us kids savings bonds and anything else he could get his hands on, she chased him off with a pitch fork. I remember that day.
We lived in the country on a 5 acre ranch, raising english walnuts and pruning plums. We had cats, dogs, sheep, rabbits and chickens. Us 3 ran wild pretty much of the time due to her work hours and then weekends we worked our asses off with her to keep the place running. I was the oldest and was 13 when she married the 3rd and last time.
He was a dad. The real one. May not have been my bio one, but he was my dad in my heart. And my savior - if not for him I would have run away from her. I am her only daughter - so I had allot to live up too. And I'm just not as tough as she is. She tells me now she isn't as tough as I think she is, but I think if she had let us kids see her cry a few times it might have made a difference to me.
Anyway...I hope to get a decent job, so I can take over all the bills here and she can retire and then when she bitches I can at last say - "Shut up" (she likes to say those words to anything she doesnt want to hear). But mostly I just want to do this as a thank you for all she's done for me - even when I am so mad at her!
Oh but one thing - I am a WAY BETTER COOK than my mom! LOL (It's all those years of keeping us fed while she worked late - and then 19 years of being a stay at home mom)
This probably has more to do with women than men. Men seem to get past a certain age and then love their mom's for ever. But women, we seem to always want to prove something to our moms. But I think my brothers both know they could never live close to our mom, that's why they let me do it. They check in with me now and then to see how she's "really" doing, but they never visit. (Course one of my brothers I would just prefer him not to visit anyway.)
I love my mom, with out her I don't know where I would be today. After 19 years of being a stay at home mom (wanting to do everything differently than how my mother did it.) and my marriage falling apart, she gave me a home so I could go back to school, and then get a good job... still waiting on that good job.
But it's been a rocky road. Having to learn to live with her all over again - and as my late father could attest - she isn't exactly the easiest person on earth to live with. However - she would give you the shirt off her back to help you. So that makes it doubly hard to say anything in defense of yourself when she gets into one of her moods.
She has a tongue sharper than a knife. And she never appologizes - ever. She'll buy you dinner as her way of saying sorry. I and my children have pointed out many times how much cheaper it would be if she would just learn how to say "i'm sorry", but she doesnt think she buys her appologies.
I've learned to bite my tongue and let her run her course, she'll get over her mood in a day or four and all will be well for a few months again. It's hard to live up to her standards. She was a woman who was married 3 times, and the first 2 times neither man could live up to those standards... 1st one (my bio father) couldn't keep his pants zipped up, so after she had her 3 children she kicked his cheating ass out. She worked for the governement, kept us fed and tucked us in at night. Father number 2 turned out to be a closet alchoholic who drank away all of her savings, all of us kids savings bonds and anything else he could get his hands on, she chased him off with a pitch fork. I remember that day.
We lived in the country on a 5 acre ranch, raising english walnuts and pruning plums. We had cats, dogs, sheep, rabbits and chickens. Us 3 ran wild pretty much of the time due to her work hours and then weekends we worked our asses off with her to keep the place running. I was the oldest and was 13 when she married the 3rd and last time.
He was a dad. The real one. May not have been my bio one, but he was my dad in my heart. And my savior - if not for him I would have run away from her. I am her only daughter - so I had allot to live up too. And I'm just not as tough as she is. She tells me now she isn't as tough as I think she is, but I think if she had let us kids see her cry a few times it might have made a difference to me.
Anyway...I hope to get a decent job, so I can take over all the bills here and she can retire and then when she bitches I can at last say - "Shut up" (she likes to say those words to anything she doesnt want to hear). But mostly I just want to do this as a thank you for all she's done for me - even when I am so mad at her!
Oh but one thing - I am a WAY BETTER COOK than my mom! LOL (It's all those years of keeping us fed while she worked late - and then 19 years of being a stay at home mom)
posted by Wench` at 12:55 PM
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